It is Breathtaking…

Part 2 / Day 5: It’s an early writing day, the rest of the day will be lunch with friends and then at the airport and I’d rather not be stuck writing like I did last time standing in line at the airport security line. So here I am checking in early and pausing for a moment. Nothing about this trip has gone to plan, well my plan anyway; I had an idea of what I wanted to or thought I needed to do and accomplish and it was not meant to be. I was shown a different way, one that was truly more me in the long run. I don’t like anger or contention or confrontation, not because I am fearful of those things, I am willing to do them as I have shown when needed, but know that there are also other ways around them. I prefer, logic, tact, talking, communication and being kind. And while I came to the first part of this trip expecting confrontation and was prepared for it, Heavenly Father showed me a different path, He prepared me for the worst but then showed me a better way that was best for me to live with in the long run. The path was still difficult and wrought with emotion, but it was a path that I was able to traverse with His help, with the support of the other and now that I am on the other side of part one of this trip I can see His wisdom in it. Planning the trip in this order was definately inspired to have the harder part over with first and then be able to relax, think, process, sit in the stillness and then to finally be able to enjoy time in nature and with friends and to put part 1 behind me completely and fully and see it completely and fully for what it is and was has been so healing.

I am finally seeing glimmers of the person I used to be surfacing and the person I am becoming stepping out from the shadows of so much hurt, trauma and confusion. There is so much clarity, focus and for the first time in, well who knows how long, that I know exactly what I want, what I need, how to go about getting to that point, personally, professionally, and with the other half. I have found a center, a calm and an acceptance of myself that while I do not need anyone to make me happy, I know that having that connection with the other one is the only way to find true happiness. And knowing that we have this opportunity to find that together is beautiful and I am grateful that we have and are finding our way back, so many don’t see the opportunity and if they do they don’t take it but settle for where they are and the misery out of fear or complacency.

I don’t want to take any moment for granted, I don’t want to settle and I do not want to waste any more time. I know what loss is, I know what hardship is I know what living in misery is and I know that only I can make my dreams come true. I know my dream, my future is with the other, but it hinges on them making one crucial decision and having the courage to do so.

So my dear other half. Now it’s your time to take that next step, be strong and courageous and move out of the shadow of what is holding you where you are and come into the light where we no longer have to hide and can truly be us, we are not meant to be hidden, we are not meant to be held back and we are not meant to take second place. I know you keep saying its hard, but its a simple choice at this point and you say you’ve already made it, you just need to act on it…I need you to act on it, you need to act on it and then you will see that the beauty on this side, on our side is breathtaking and can only be experienced once you step through the shadows and act upon your choice. And I promise you, It will be glorious.