Beautiful Rain

Part 2 / Day 1: Today I landed at my second destination and it was quite the trip, long, tiring, babies crying, and mechanical problems on the second leg. We were about half boarded on the plane and had to deplane so they could turn off the plane and restart some systems and then start the process all over again, surprisingly we were only an hour behind the initial arrival time and since it was my final destination I wasn’t stressed. I was too tired…

My ride was waiting and we stopped and grabbed some groceries and then rode out to the cottage for a nice relaxing few days of sitting on the porch, or by the water and just being still. It was a beautiful blue sky day, the leaves have started to turn beautiful rusts, oranges, and yellows. It’s been a hot minute since I have seen a proper fall and even though it’s just the beginning, it did not disappoint and I was enthralled to be back in the land of a true fall.

We get to the cottage and the skies opened up and the rain descended. Heavy cold rain as we ran back and forth getting luggage and groceries into the house. But of course it was short lived and as soon as we brought the last item in, it stopped raining…well, for a while anyway! I settled in, unpacked what I needed, started some laundry and went out and sat on the porch and just took in all the surroundings and the beautiful water out front. I love the water, it has healing properties for me, brings peace and relaxation and reminds me that I am so small in comparison to this world.

It was also a really special day in another way, and it was celebrated with lovely messages and calls from the other half, even though we didn’t have a ton of time together since I was traveling and I’m pretty much in the middle of nowhere and reception can be spotty…but they made it special in cute ways that made my heart stop (in the good way!)

I am so grateful when planning this trip that I was prompted to do so in this order, so that the hard part came first and then this, where I can sit in more stillness by God’s creation and beauty to take it all in and ensure I have learned the lessons I needed to, to move in the direction God needs me to, to learn how to better support the other half and others through their hard moments. Because they will need to go through their own trial and it will not be easy, so this renewal here will allow me to be an even better support to them.

I love sitting by the water. Listening to the ebb and flow of the water, the peaceful bubbling of the soft waves upon the shore and the lullaby it sings to me as I listen. God has given us all the tools we need to find Him, and in His creations they can bring us peace as we see the beauty He has created for us. Our shared space will also be near water where we can sit on our balcony and feel the beauty of Him when we need renewal, where we can go out and walk the path around it and find that stillness daily if needed.

But for now, I am concentrating on sending my prayers, love, strength to my other half. As today several realizations came to them, or maybe already had been there just not verbalized and a feeling, I would imagine not to dis-similar to what I felt prior to leg one of my trip has descended upon them. I called mine anxiety, panic; they may call theirs by same or maybe dread would be better. Either way, sometimes the storm has to come before the calm and we need to walk directly towards it in order for the feelings to change or they increase in strength and can frustrate us, immobilize us and push us back further and further from our goal. Working through hard things is just that, hard. We as humans want to be kind, nice, gentle and I believe deep down really want others to be happy in their circumstances even if we are in the process of causing them hurt and pain. So when faced with the storm, we innately want to turn and run, hide, and would much rather go to the dentist for a tooth extraction if we could make the choice; but we also know deep down that while its hard, once in it, once through it and once on the other side, we can and will see it was the best for any parties involved to be able to individually move forward. Then the relief, the calm, the peace can begin to work its way through to each piece of our anxious mind and start to settle us.

As a human, protection is also a huge factor in our natures and I would give anything to take this burden from the other half, take it upon myself so they didn’t have to go through it, not because I think for one moment they can’t handle it, I know they can; but because I would rather take on the pain and hardship to spare them any further hurt. That’s part of what this process is about, while I may not yet know exactly what they are feeling, I can feel and emulate the hardship through them and with that knowledge can support them in anyway I can possibly think of since I cannot take this from them.

But know that I have one of the most beautiful, strong, humans I know on the other side of this, one who I know that even in despair wants to to the right thing by others and has gone out of their way to support and hold me up in the small ways. I don’t need big grand gestures, shouts from the rooftops that they are mine or lines of poetry expressing their deepest feelings. I do need a sweet text that makes me smile, a call that makes me giddy to talk to them, a song just for me, a listening and supportive ear, the gentle promise of a future filled with each other, and the occasional reminder that we are on the same page with the same end goal.

And when we get to that goal, I know that the next time it rains, we will find a way to dance naked in natures beauty.