A Perfect Kiss

Slowly getting back into the groove of a routine, getting up, doing things in the morning and then settling into work, today talked to CJ on his drive to his work and that was great, we havent done that before, and that set the tone for my morning. Starting my day talking to him was perfect. It was a long day at work, technically still a part time day but just dealing with picking up the pieces of what didnt get taken care of while I was out and while I am grateful for my job and being able to come back and have work to do, it makes me wonder how people didnt notice things while I was out. But alas, working on cleaning up and getting it all back on track, its just gonna take awhile.

I was in a meeting today wearing my ‘key’ chain and a v neck sweater and one of my team leads did a second look at it and then kinda gave me a look, a look that made me think he knew what that key was. He just said nice Key and I said thank you and smiled. I told CJ about it on a call or text, cant remember now, but it was funny to me. I honestly am open and proud and happy to be wearing it and dont care who knows it…in fact, I hope someone asks me so I can tell them!!!

I was able to see CJ again today for a quick minute, he was close to town again and I had to drive to go buy a couch so we picked a destination that was close to him and I drove there so we could meet for a bit. It was like a normal moment. Going into a store to buy a couch together, talking, conversing, comparing, discussing colors and what would look good in the space and checking all the things out and of course the staring at each other and my favorite part was walking through the store and CJ reached over and took my hand and we walked hand in hand through the store, it was perfect. Exactly like we are meant to be. Comfortable, easy going, natural, us. It was easy to couch shop, well for us it was, I know couples who argue endlessly about silly stuff like that but for us it was easy, effortless and didnt take long. We picked out the couch, end tables and some bar stools for the island and then he had to get back to his work location for the day and so I walked him out and we sat in the vehicle for a bit and talked, held each other and kissed. I could stare at him forever, I could kiss him endlessly, I could hold him in my arms every moment and still it would never be enough, but I look forward to the challenge of trying. But at the same time, I know that I wont see him all the time or be able to have him in my arms all the time, but as long as he comes home to me, to us to our home I can live with him having to go to work or on trips or go out with friends or needing some alone time as some people need. I just need him here with me.

So we are getting closer and closer and I am working on being patient and staying positive. Yesterday was not a good day, I allowed the stress of everything to build up and physically made myself sick and spent the evening/night on the bathroom floor and let me tell you its been a very long time since I have thrown up, and its never pleasant, but last night, oh that was a different level with still healing and being in pain, it was excruciating. But I made it through one more thing and learned that I need to find an outlet to my stress and that I need to find a way to eat better and make both things a priority.

So today after couch shopping and enjoying our clandestine kisses, I stopped at target for a few things and then headed home and dove right into my first workout. It KICKED MY ASS, but that’s as it should be, its been awhile since I have been able to workout and I didn’t exactly pick an easy program to start with, but am committed to this 4 week program and I did it, I finished it, other than one move because of my neck, but improvised. It felt good to finish, it felt good to put the stress and worry and concern and all the bad feelings into something physical that is also beneficial for my own health.

I really like the program, it’s fun, looks easy, but that’s deceptive, it really gets to the core of things and my legs were burning at the end. So here’s to day one of week one of this 4 week program and then I have so many more options for classes online and live classes and to just keep going. So here I am committing to feeling better, getting better, stronger, healthier and maybe even keeping some weight on.

So overall a good day, one day closer to being with CJ full time, one day closer to the adventure of a lifetime, one more day behind us and one more perfect kiss.