Make sure your seatbelts are fastened.

Friday, recently my least favorite day of the week, maybe one day in the future I will enjoy them again but for now, not a favorite and today was a doozy of a Friday. It started out almost idyllic, beautiful and wonderful and then bam…life slams a door in your face, and reactions happen and we were both reeling this afternoon. It wasn’t pleasant and we were both worried about the other and it was just a hard day.

I don’t like hard things, I don’t think anyone does, but it would be so much easier if we were together and I could hold his hand, put my arms around him and I had his around me. But then if that were the case, these particular hardship would be over, instead we are still in the middle of them, but we also know that choices have to be made quickly in order for things to change and one of those choices is not an easy one but requires thought and time and we are almost out of time.

I encouraged CJ to get away for the weekend and unplug even from me as hard as that was to tell him, he needs to decompress, he needs alone time and he needs to not hear the world or Satan constantly in his head. He needs time to pray to read to ponder and to be still and he cannot do that where he is, so he needs to find a safe quite place he can be absolutely alone where God can hear him and he can hear God. I don’t know if he will actually do it, but I pray that he does, if I were in his shoes I’d sure do it, I need all the help I can get and a weekend away talking with God alone sounds exactly what I could use myself right now…but maybe next weekend I will have at least one day alone in my new place, and maybe more weekends ahead.

Yes, a week from now I will be moving in, or well pulling into town at least and preparing to move in. So we are almost done here on my end. Spent some more time today going through and getting rid of more and more stuff, It was yet again freeing and I feel like I can breathe easier when I rid myself of things I have hung onto, today it was mostly clothes and a few other things, but it is another full car load that I will drop off at the donation center tomorrow afternoon. I wish I had more time to go through more stuff, but I will be sure to go through more as I unpack and continue to minimize. The offset to that is that I do have to buy a few things, I will need a couch and chairs for the kitchen counter, if I want to sit at a table to eat, but while those are not exactly really needs, I would like to have them, but I have no desire to clutter up the space with junk and decor. I do have a few things but want to keep things simple and minimal. Clutter makes me crazy and then you have to clean it all.

So my last day of freedom did not disappoint, I was busy, emotional, prayerful, tearful and just trying to put all the pieces together to make sense of this day and what is to come. I think that’s the hardest thing, just when you think maybe you have it all kinda figured out, it all changes on a dime and you are living on a roller coaster. They make me nauseas and dizzy so I try to stay off of them, but these last few weeks have been a crazy coaster ride that never seems to end, up/down, sideways, twisted, over and over and I am getting whiplash. I believe the end of the ride will be worth it, but doing through the ride has not been pleasant, so I will keep my seatbelt fastened and keep praying and hoping and believing and asking God to watch over us until the ride ends at its destination.