Pros and Cons for the demon slayer in you

Have you ever had a decision that you just couldn’t make; one that was so convoluted but should be simple and at the core probably is but life is swirling around and around and you cant see through it to the core of the issue?

A few years ago I read a book called the Art of Swedish Death Cleansing, I know it sounds morbid, but it’s really not. I am sure we all know someone in our lives who has stuff and lots of it, or have heard stories about a family member who has passed and all their stuff that had to be dealt with. Or how your mom now is the happy owner of grandmas – second cousins – mothers – sisters – best friends (insert item) because (insert story if known)….but most of the time, said item has no history, but we keep it and keep handing it down because its been handed down and its family and its important…but is it? Or is it just another burden to carry? The book outlines an ‘art’ of cleansing before you pass, some start this process when they retire, some when the kids are all out of the house, others live this their entire lives, The premise is that 1. Just because Aunt Sally had this rocker doesn’t mean it is important to me or brings me joy so I don’t keep it; and 2. That while we have items that we have to have in our homes (beds, cookery, etc…) other than those needed items (in minimal quantities) all the other items are items that we have personally chosen that make us happy, or are of importance to us individually, not to some distant ancestors that we never knew and don’t know the story of said item. Now of course if items are of some financial value, it might be a good idea to speak with other family members before discarding, but if it brings no happiness to you, then you do not need it, find someone or someplace that will place value and happiness on that item.

People do not realize that carrying the weight of or burden of stuff is just that a burden and it weighs us down, it bogs us down mentally and physically. Once I started reading this book, I started to put this into practice into my own life. I have downsized tremendously and with this move even more so, I will only have a 15’ uhaul, I could probably do with a 10’ but I can’t pull my vehicle with the 10’ so 15’ it is. But the weight that has been lifted as I donate, give away or toss items has been so freeing and I am so grateful that this book came my way. Just today even almost all packed, I felt the burden of too many books in an overwhelming way and went back through them and combined two totes into one and have bags of books now to be donated and the feeling of doing so is freeing.

However, the burden of stuff goes further than items in our homes, it extends to our minds and the things that we hold onto in our minds. The worldly views, the concerns of how others will react, the weight of right or wrong in our eye or theirs, the burden of making wrong choices, or being told that we will never be able to live with ourselves if we make said choice. We live in a world so full of technology and are constantly bombarded by information from every side that it’s difficult to hear through all the noise. So like the Art of Swedish Death Cleansing of our physical items in our homes and spaces, sometimes we need to take the time and cleans our minds and our thoughts and push away and rid ourselves of the world that invades us.

There are a lot of different ways to do this, meditation, massage, therapy, all of which are a few great options, but I am a little analytical and while I enjoy meditation of sorts and the more that I learn about myself the more I enjoy finding a way to relax and push things of the world away through mediation. I have tried therapy but finding the right person can be the hardest part, time consuming, financially draining and emotionally draining, but worth it if all the stars align. So for me, one of my initial go to’s is a pro con list. It’s a starting place to get things out of my head and onto paper where I can visually see what is going on. Sometimes it’s easy, sometimes it’s a little obtuse, but as I work at it and whittle it down I can usually start to see a trend and can find my way through it and to an option. Sometimes with really big decisions/problems that option leads to another pro/con list, but even that is progress because I have then tossed aside many options, made decisions and moved forward in some direction or another.

Do they backfire? For me not usually, but that’s the analytical side of me that is not afraid to write down all the hard or bad stuff, talking to or telling someone, thats harder. But writing it down in a column in a logical formation works for me and paper can be torn up and thrown away and no one has to know but me. Is there accountability, not really, but I am usually pretty accountable to them because I needed that answer for a reason and I needed to change a behavior or needed to make a hard choice and so the need for the resolution outweighs the lack of not holding myself accountable.

I can say that the times I have chosen to not use a pro/con list when I knew I should have, those opportunities have backfired on me and usually big time. So much so that the repercussions were far worse than had I taken the extra time and gone through the process in the first place.

I know this wont work for everyone, but it’s an idea. We each need to find our pro/con list option and work through our decisions without the weight of the worldly influences breathing down our necks. It’s hard to do that in todays world, but creating a safe space, putting aside time for yourself and your health will only create a positive environment to help you face your decisions and the demons you need to slay.

I pray that each of you has someone in your corner to support you in this effort, our mental health is important now more than ever and if you have someone making fun of you, not allowing you the freedom to create this needed space, pulling you with them away from taking care of you, then they are in the world and are too caught up in what you are trying to get away from….so you go slay your demons, and know that they may be one of them. You’ll find peace in the process.