Going to Church

Feeling better still, so that’s a good sign, the food/carb loading I did is doing its job, my stomach is defiantly not happy, but I can deal with that. Getting past that hump of having no energy which leads to apathy of not eating, not being hungry is a vicious cycle that is hard to get through and makes recovery more difficult than it needs to be, so while gluten is a huge issue for me, dealing with the stomach issue temporarily is worth the price of getting through it quickly. So on the other side now, hopefully for good, I was tired last night and as I am back to more normal eating and schedules, I have started adding back in some of my daily vitamins and last night I took my night time sleeping vitamin for the first time, so with being tired and adding that in, I was sleepy and dreamy and found myself with another brick from heaven, having crossed a line that I said I wouldn’t. And that brick was just a wake up reminder that I can be better, I am better and I need to find a way to focus and be strong.

So this morning I was up early, and spent several hours listening to and reading scriptures and other scriptural resources and praying off an on, and CJ had a busy morning and I didn’t hear from him for some time; my normal brain automatically goes to the worst case scenario, something happened, what’s wrong, etc…but as I has been prepared being in the scriptures and prayers, I was calm and there was no pit in the bottom of my stomach indicating something might be wrong and He was teaching me once again to lean on Him and not on mine own understanding. Especially as I turn into this next chapter, I have much healing to continue with and am not as strong as I have been pre surgeries and it will take time to get back to that strength and physicality and to take it one day at a time.

CJ reached out, fires to put out at work, always good to be good at what you do and can put out those fires. He had a busy day, but we connected through texts, video lunch and a phone call ride home and had some good conversations. Talking about the gospel and history and things we need to look for and ask about, about our prior relationship and beginning times and seeing who remembered what, work history, work, lots of little things, normal conversations, dating topics in a manner of speaking.

We shared photos and those connections are very helpful as we count down the last few weeks until at least I move and can start on getting the shared space read for us and time seemed to go by pretty quickly today, which seems to be the trend these past few days. I don’t want to jinx it but pray that time doesn’t slow down, I’ve had so much slow time lately, I need to get to the new place and get settled.

As we were texting, I was listening to music and this song came on and spoke to me about how we don’t always need to be in a church pew to be reached by God, something that both CJ and I believe in; so here are the lyrics to Jelly Rolls’ song “Church”

I’m hungover as hell, I’m going through it too. It ain’t hard to tell looking at myself in my rearview
‘I’m sorry, Miss Jackson’ playing on the FM
Ooh, but the only song in my head is “ Just As I Am”
Yeah, the people passing by think I’m up to no good
That I’m going somewhere where they never would

I ain’t going where the wild things are, I ain’t going to the cigarette store, I ain’t going to the cold beer bar to check on the Tennessee score.
I’m just having me a talk with the man, sendin’ my whole soul on a search
They might judge me on this two lane road, but little do they know
I’m going to church, I’m going to church

I guess there’s just some things you just cant outrun
There ain’t no back pew in this truck, so I’m forced to sit in the front
And ain’t it funny how he’s working in mysterious ways?
Hell, I skipped my share of sermons, so he brought one to this Chevrolet

I ain’t going where the wild things are, I ain’t going to the cigarette store, I ain’t going to the cold beer bar to check on the Tennessee score.
I’m just having me a talk with the man, sendin’ my whole soul on a search
They might judge me on this two lane road, but little do they know
I’m going to church, I’m going to church

Don’t need a revelation out of Romans
And alter call to call me home
Who’d have thought it’d be a Saturday morning
when he saved my soul?
when he saved my soul

I ain’t going where the wild things are, I ain’t going to the cigarette store, I ain’t going to the cold beer bar to check on the Tennessee score.
I’m just having me a talk with the man, sendin’ my whole soul on a search
They might judge me on this two lane road, but little do they know
I’m going to church, I’m going to church