Unsaid words…
Day 2 post surgery, doing better much improvement over yesterday. Even had just enough energy to take a bath and soak, can’t get the incision site wet but that’s not a problem so it was nice, relaxing and the bubbles felt good to help clean and make me not feel so yucky. But as always since I am barely eating anything, I think I counted about 250 calories yesterday and maybe 400 or so so far today, I don’t have much energy and that bath sure took it out of me. Amazing how quickly you lose that energy if you don’t eat…but its ok, I know it will come back and it will be quicker this time than the last surgery that took months.
Was able to connect all day with CJ, that was nice and even had a video call for lunch where I probably overused my voice but it’ll be fine. It’s so wonderful that we have the technology we have these days to be able to do these things. But lunch was good, I enjoy watching him work and he thinks I’m silly, but I could watch him work for hours, he’s good at what he does and that’s a turn on. But it was rough to say goodbye at the end, there were so many unsaid words and thoughts and we both knew it, so we just hung on for just a moment longer looking at each other before we said bye…it was tender and sweet and just a picture of what is to come.
We again talked about a lot of things today, random stuff, us, the future, pictures from the past, our place, insurance, so it was a good day. I love how we can talk about anything and even when I push about the situation, only to have him see what I see, and while at times I can feel his frustration, we can talk through it and try to understand where the other is coming from and why and then try to help each other. I know we may have challenges up ahead, but when we are together, it will be different, they will be our challenges and we can face them hand in hand, arms around each other and take them head on.
We also talked again about doing a couples boudoir shoot, we found a photographer who is relatively close to our shared space and will do whatever the couple wants, including full nudes. Which is what we want, we have no desire to play around with clothes and lingerie, thats not exactly our style, so we discussed if we were both ok with that and we’re both on board and one thing we both really want to do is have a photo shoot outside, since that is definitely our style, being out in nature. So once we are both in the shared space we will schedule that and get it done. I can’t wait to have them done and to be so connected with CJ in those moments to be captured and to hang them in our bedroom. Yes I want to hang them, we want to hang them in our bedroom. We want to enjoy and revel in our connection, our bodies, our nakedness and being together.
So one more day closes, I’m tired, he’s tired and we pray that one day soon we will be in each other arms.
And tomorrow begins round two of the games and I take over for a weekend getaway, that I am very excited to share.